52 Project #18: Thirteen

(Trigger warnings: All of them. Seriously. Contains incestuous rape (non-graphic), child sexual abuse, child emotional and physical abuse, domestic violence, murder, attempted rape, underage prostitution, underage drug use, discussion of racism, and probably other terrible stuff too.)

(This is the origin story of Meg "Dr. Mystery" Santoro, the supervillain protagonist of my novel "The Cold At The Heart Of The Light.")
 

---

Meg Santoro wanders aimlessly through the Brooklyn streets.  The sun is coming up, and she’s tired and cold, her feet aching and her stomach growling.  She has no idea where she’s going to get food, or a place to sleep.  Home is not an option.  Home no longer exists.

Earlier in the night she turned up her nose at a bag of McDonalds she saw sticking out of a trash can.  Now she’s hungry enough to fish trash out of cans and eat it, except that the garbagemen have already come around and the city trash cans are empty.  She sits down on a park bench to rest her feet, and her eyes flutter closed in her exhaustion.  But when they close all the way, she sees the earlier events of the night spooling out in front of her.  Her eyes snap open, trying to stop seeing, trying to stop remembering, but she’s too tired to keep walking and when she stops, the memories come back.

Tears well up in her eyes.  I’m sorry, Daddy.  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to…

It’s all her fault.  She shouldn’t have said no.  She shouldn’t have made a fuss.  If Mom hadn’t heard, none of it would have happened.

She doesn’t want to remember, but she can’t stop.

***

( Read more... )